You are NOT the only one!

Recently I saw a lot of people either got dump or fail in a relationship or fail before they get into the relationship. I even saw someone cried before get into the work. Some keep listening to the sad songs, and some hiding their pain behind their smiles just like me everytime i'll did all this to myself (well, most of them are.).Last time, I used to talk to those people who ‘failed’, but now, I choose not to. It’s just simply because, I don’t think I should for the reason that I myself also a failure in this so called – “love”. Besides that, I suppose I never have a successful relationship before. It was 1years ago when I had my first and until now, the only ex-girl friend I had. It only lasted for 3years. Kind of hard to believe it, right? I can say that, most of the people gave me the wrong answer when I ask them how many relationships I had before and how long is the longest lasted. I don’t give the blame on them, besides; I never do because they are just judging by its cover. Not much people actually know who is she and when was it. I told some of my friends about it because one, I want to tell, and two, they ask. Anyhow, some still do not know because I choose not to tell. It’s not because of I do not trust them or I have something behind the story that can not be told, it’s just because I simply do not want to mention about it for how bad it hurts me. Can you believe that, I and she only date for one time and it’s only like, 1hour? We didn’t last long because of certain problems. First, it’s because of the distance, it took me 5hrs to reach her, but that’s not the main problem. Second, it’s because of her parents. Her parents are very strict to her and me. They don’t let her out at night or pick up unnecessary phone calls when i was at aussie and I think, this is the major problem for us. The third is, she just don’t really trust me enough. She don’t even believe me that I do not smoke, do drink alcohol one in a bad mood(she dont like), and moreover, she is my first girl friend. I don’t blame her at the first actually because; a couple that just started normally doesn’t have much trust on each other… And yah, we got a break up, whose decision? I chose not to comment.

So 1 n the half years has passed, why still single? Simple, it’s because that things just not going right for me. I do fall in love on someone after in this 1 n the half years and right now (you know i saying wan is you and you know who are you), but I am may just too stupid that I fall to the wrong person that i fall in love right now. They are either taken or other problems. Well, love is blind, everybody knows it. Every time I fall, I will most likely have to forget about them. Yah yah, why give up so easily right? Do you expect me to destroy somebody’s relationship? Or just start the relationship even though you know that it will most likely have a fast break? Yah, friends are also telling me “why don’t you give a try? Never try, never know.” I know this, in fact, I told them this! -_-" I just can’t do it because I think, it will make the situation worst. “Find a girl, hold her hand, and kiss her lip, that’s all you got to do.” It sounds simple but yet difficult for me.So now understand why I say that I fail? I know, I am still young, only 21years old. I sometimes wonder, am I just not too good enough? Or just in the wrong time? Or perhaps that I isn’t bad enough (I got scolded when I said this from one of my friend, haha.)? Maybe I’m still young, but hei, this goes to every one of you who fail! Haha! It’s kind of weird that, people that can define the word “true love” in a fantastic way but yet, they fail. I can’t define the word because; I don’t think I’ve been there before. It’s also weird that people who can give good advices and comments but yet, fail on their own one (I’m one of them, anybody else join me?).

The last advice/comment that I would like to say is that, don’t expect much from it, and take it as an experience to move forward. It’s simple, whenever you fall; you stand up and move forward. You can move with your friends together with you, or yourself. For me, the main purpose of living, and the answer for living, is to have a memory. A memory that when you reflect 20years later that will make you wonder and laugh on it. Always get a memory at anywhere from anyone, good or bad. Besides the heart and love that we thought the only one that making us living worthy now, memory is also one of the most important (and food.).